Monday, November 28, 2005

Does Islam tolerate the killing of innocents?

This is another misconception which we(Muslims) all come accross often

Islam tolerates the killing of innocents because:
    • Muslims can be terrorists
    • Muslims engage in `holy wars' (jihad)
    • Islam spread by the sword
    • it has a harsh and cruel judicial system

This misconception is one of the most widely held misconceptions about Islam today. And yet in the Qur'an, the Creator unambiguously states (translation),

[17:33] Nor take life - which Allah has made sacred - except for just cause. And if anyone is slain wrongfully, we have given his heir authority (to demand retaliation or to forgive): but let him not exceed bounds in the matter of taking life, for he is helped (by the Law)

Based on this verse, it is Islamically unlawful to murder anyone who is innocent of certain crimes. It is well to remember at this point the distinction made above between Qur'an and Sunnah, and the Muslims: only the Qur'an and Sunnah are guaranteed to be in accordance with what the Creator desires, whereas the Muslims may possibly deviate. Hence, if any Muslim kills an innocent person, that Muslim has committed a grave sin, and certainly the action cannot be claimed to have been done "in the name of Islam."

It should be clear, then, that "Muslim terrorist" is almost an oxymoron: by killing innocent people, a Muslim is commiting an awesome sin, and Allah is Justice personified. This phrase is offensive and demeaning of Islam, and it should be avoided. It is hoped that as the general level of public awareness and understanding of Islam increases, people will keep "terrorism" and "Islam" separate from each other, not to be used in the same phrase.

Another reason advanced in support of the misconception is that the Creator has imposed `jihad' on us. The term "holy war" is from the time of the Crusades and originated in Europe as a rallying cry against the Muslims in Jerusalem. Jihad is an Arabic word meaning struggle, but in the context of many verses in the Qur'an, it carries the meaning of military struggle, or war. Allah gradually introduced the obligation of military struggle to the Muslim community at the time of the Messenger (saas). The first verse ever revealed in that connection is as follows (translation),

[22:39] Permission (to fight) is given to those upon whom war is made because they are oppressed, and most surely Allah is well able to assist them;

This verse lays down the precondition for all war in Islam: there must exist certain oppressive conditions on the people. The Creator unequivocally orders us to fight oppression and persecution, even at the expense of bloodshed as the following verse shows (translation),

[2:190-192] And fight in the cause of Allah with those who fight with you, and do not exceed the limits, surely Allah does not love those who exceed the limits. And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out, and persecution is severer than slaughter, and do not fight with them at the Sacred Mosque (in Makkah) until they fight with you in it, but if they do fight you, then slay them; such is the reward of the unbelievers. But if they desist, then surely Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. And fight with them until there is no persecution, and religion should be only for Allah, but if they desist, then there should be no hostility except against the oppressors.

As one might imagine, the method of military struggle has been clearly and extensively defined in the Qur'an and Sunnah. Since this subject is a huge one, we simply summarize part of it by noting that it is unlawful to kill women, children, the infirm, the old, and the innocent. From the Sunnah, specifically in the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find:

[4:52:257] Narrated 'Abdullah: During some of the Ghazawat of the Prophet a woman was found killed. Allah's Apostle disapproved the killing of women and children.

A related misconception to jihad is often propagated by Muslims who say that "Jihad is only for self-defense of physical borders." The Qur'an and Sunnah refute this notion categorically. As the verses cited above show, jihad is obligatory wherever there is injustice, and Muslims need not acknowledge imaginary lines around the earth when it comes to upholding this obligation. The Messenger of Allah (saas) has also commented on this extensively in the Sunnah. From the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find that,

[4:52:65] Narrated Abu Musa: A man came to the Prophet and asked, "A man fights for war booty; another fights for fame and a third fights for showing off; which of them fights in Allah's Cause?" The Prophet said, "He who fights that Allah's Word (i.e. Islam) should be superior, fights in Allah's Cause."

Hence, the Creator obligates us to fight wherever people are being grossly deprived of freely hearing or practicing the Message of Allah as contained in the Qur'an and Sunnah. Sayyed Qutb, a famous Muslim scholar eloquently discusses the notion of jihad and self-defense in his book Milestones,

"If we insist on calling Islamic jihad a defensive movement, then we must change the meaning of the word `defense' and mean by it `defense of man' against all those elements which limit his freedom. These elements take the form of beliefs and concepts, as well as of political systems, based on economic, racial, or class distinction."

A third reason often cited for the misconception about Islam which says that this way of life tolerates the killing of innocents is that the judicial system of Islam is unnecessarily harsh. This reason is weak in two respects. First, it presupposes that human beings are more just and more merciful than the Creator, and therefore we can change the law. Second, it is often based on gross oversimplifications of Islamic law, such as saying "all thieves get their hands cut off."

The Qur'an and Sunnah make it clear that the law of retaliation (or equality) governs us for murder and physical injury, but forgiveness is better as the following verses from the Qur'an show (translation),

[2:178] O you who believe! the law of equality is prescribed to you in cases of murder: the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the woman for the woman. But if any remission is made by the brother of the slain, then prosecution (for the bloodwit) should be made according to usage, and payment should be made to him in a good manner; this is an alleviation from your Lord and a mercy; so whoever exceeds the limit after this he shall have a painful chastisement.
[42:40-43] The recompense for an injury is an injury equal thereto (in degree): but if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: for (Allah) loves not those who do wrong. But indeed if any do help and defend themselves after a wrong (done) to them, against such there is no cause of blame. The blame is only against those who oppress men and insolently transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice: for such there will be a grievous penalty. And whoever is patient and forgiving, these most surely are actions due to courage.

The Creator ordained the law of retaliation on us knowing full well that we might question it. In many non-Muslim societies today, there are ongoing debates about the death penalty. In Islam, this discussion is moot: the Creator has decided the matter for us. He has however given us an interesting verse in the Qur'an which advises to consider the matter carefully if we want to understand it (translation follows),

[2:179] And there is life for you in (the law of) retaliation, O people of understanding, that you may guard yourselves.

Most people are also unaware of the stringent conditions which must be met for the law of retaliation to be applicable. The Sunnah is full of examples of the Messenger of Allah showing us when the law's preconditions were fulfilled. For example, a thief is only liable to lose his or her hand if the item stolen exceeds a certain value, and if it is proven that the item was taken from its normal resting place. Stealing food is not punishable by the loss of one's hand, and other items are exempt as well. This is just an example of how gingerly the law is applied in Islam.

Finally, another reason advanced for this prevalent misconception is that Islam `spread by the sword'. It should be clear by now that we must always distinguish between the Qur'an and Sunnah and the Muslims when it comes to determining what the Creator has asked of us. Allah has stated clearly in the Qur'an (translation),

[2:256] There is no compulsion in religion; truly the right way has become clearly distinct from error; therefore, whoever rejects Satan (and what he calls to) and believes in Allah, he indeed has laid hold on the firmest handhold, which shall not break off, and Allah is Hearing, Knowing.

Hence, it is impossible to accept Islam under duress. Even if misguided Muslims were to try to `force' Islam somehow on others, it would not be accepted by the Creator based on this verse.

Historical arguments that try to demonstrate that Muslims did not `convert others by force' are actually secondary to the argument given above. However, it is worth noting that historically, Islam did spread by peaceful means. The Message of the Creator was conveyed to Africa and to southeast Asia by trading Muslims, and today the largest Muslim country in the world is Indonesia. The military expeditions that led to the conquest of large swathes of territory in Europe and central Asia were all marked by tolerance of other creeds and faith.

Again, it is important to remember that Allah declares it IMPOSSIBLE that Islam can be forced on a person, hence Muslims find it useless to try!

  • Does Islam tolerate the killing of innocents?

  • Saturday, November 26, 2005

    Does Islam Consider Women to be inferior to Men?

    As Salaamu Alaikum,

    Living in non Muslim country I come accross the following (misconception about Isam) very often


    In Islam, women are inferior to men because:
      • a man can marry up to 4 wives, a woman can marry only one man
      • a man's share of inheritance is bigger than a woman's
      • a man can marry a non-Muslim, a woman cannot
      • women must wear the veil

    This widely held misconception does not remotely follow from the reasons given. The first and most important observation to make about the popular question "Are men and women equal?" is that it is a badly-formed, unanswerable question. The problem which many people conveniently ignore is that "equal" is not defined. This is a very critical point: the equality must be specified with respect to some measurable property. For example, women on average are superior to men if we ask who is shorter in height than the other ("Growth and Development", Encyclopaedia Britannica, 1992). Women are also superior on average if we ask whom do children bond to deeper, mothers or fathers. Women are also superior on average if we ask who has a tendency to socialize more. On the other hand, men are superior on average if we ask who is taller in height than the other. And so on: every question can be turned around, and more importantly these are properties which are irrelevant.

    What then, is the really important property which we are worried about in terms of gender equality? Naturally, from the point of view of the Qur'an and Sunnah, the obvious important property is who is dearer to Allah, men or women? This question is emphatically answered in the Qur'an (translation),

    [4:124] If any do deeds of righteousness - be they male or female - and have faith, they will enter Paradise, and not the least injustice will be done to them.
    [33:35] For Muslim men and women, for believing men and women, for devout men and women, for truthful men and women, for men and women who are patient and constant, for men and women who humble themselves, for men and women who give in charity, for men and women who fast, for men and women who guard their chastity, and for men and women who engage much in Allah's praise, for them has Allah prepared forgiveness and great reward.

    The Qur'an and Sunnah repeat over and over again that Allah only favors one person over another based on that person's awareness, consciousness, fear, love, and hope of Allah (the Arabic word is difficult to translate: Taqwa). All other criteria are excluded: gender, ethnic group, country, ancestry, etc.

    Given that Allah does not favor one gender over the other in His attention to us (and it helps to remember that Allah is neither male nor female), we can now address the differences between the genders in Islam. First, men and women are not the same as we know. The Creator states in the Qur'an (translation),

    [3:36]...and the male is not like the female...

    Men and women are different in their composition, and in their responsibilities under Islam. However, both are bound by obligations to one another, especially the following important one which must be understood in any discussion on men and women. From the Qur'an (translation),

    [24:32] And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.

    In this verse, the Creator emphasizes that marriage is to be vigorously pursued by the Muslims: the state of being single is not to be maintained. With this in mind, we can begin to understand the four reasons cited above for the nonetheless erroneous conclusion.

    Men and women are different in their responsibilities towards the families that they are strongly encouraged to set up. Women are not obligated to work, whereas men are obligated. The man must provide for the family, but the woman does not have to spend out of her money for it, though she gets a reward for doing so. Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),

    [4:34] Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.

    From the Sunnah, specifically in the study of the Sunnah called Sahih Bukhari, we find:

    [2:24:545] Narrated `Amr bin Al-Harith: Zainab, the wife of `Abdullah said, "I was in the Mosque and saw the Prophet (p.b.u.h) saying, `O women ! Give alms even from your ornaments.' " Zainab used to provide for `Abdullah and those orphans who were under her protection. So she said to `Abdullah, "Will you ask Allah's Apostle whether it will be sufficient for me to spend part of the Zakat on you and the orphans who are under my protection?" He replied "Will you yourself ask Allah's Apostle ?" (Zainab added): So I went to the Prophet and I saw there an Ansari woman who was standing at the door (of the Prophet ) with a similar problem as mine. Bilal passed by us and we asked him, `Ask the Prophet whether it is permissible for me to spend (the Zakat) on my husband and the orphans under my protection.' And we requested Bilal not to inform the Prophet about us. So Bilal went inside and asked the Prophet regarding our problem. The Prophet (p.b.u.h) asked, "Who are those two?" Bilal replied that she was Zainab. The Prophet said, "Which Zainab?" Bilal said, "The wife of `Adullah (bin Masud)." The Prophet said, "Yes, (it is sufficient for her) and she will receive a double rewards (for that): One for helping relatives, and the other for giving Zakat."

    Given that husbands are obligated to provide for wives, and that marriage is a highly recommended goal of Islam, it is easy to see why women's inheritance share is half that of men. We note also that men are obligated to provide a suitable dowry to women on marriage. In fact, it is preferable at this point to speak in terms of husbands and wives instead of men and women. Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),

    [4:4] And give women their dowries as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result.

    Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),

    [2:228]...And they (women) have rights similar to those (of men) over them in kindness, and men are a degree above them...

    This one degree in no way affects the position of the Creator in which He has stated that He does not hold women dearer to him than men, or vice versa. Rather it is simply a way of partitioning responsibilities in a household of two adults: someone must make the final decision on daily matters. As will be shown below in a section on a different misconception, though the final decision rests with the husband, it is through mutual consultation that decisions are best reached at.

    While men are allowed to marry up to four wives, they are also commanded to meet the preconditions of being able to financially support them. They must also deal with each wife justly and fairly with respect to marital and economic obligations. Allah says in the Qur'an (translation),

    [4:3] If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.

    Moreover, women are allowed to reject any marriage proposal made to her by prospective suitors, thus if she does not feel she can abide by the rules of the Qur'an and Sunnah if she marries a certain person, she can reject his proposal. While it is irrelevant to Islam, it is worthwhile to note that both Judaism and Christianity allow polygamy. The idea is not as foreign to the non-Muslims as is often claimed.

    Finally, the wearing of the veil by women is also an illogical premise to claim that women are inferior to men. It is more appropriate to indict a society of female exploitation if it tolerates pornography rather than if it enforces the veil. Given that Allah is neither male nor female, given that He does not endear people to Himself based on their gender, given that the Creator cares about all of us male or female, given that the sexual and violent drive of men is stronger than that of women...given all this, it is illogical to cast a negative light on the following injunctions contained in the Qur'an (translation),

    [33:59] O Prophet, tell your wives and daughters and the believing women to draw their outer garments around them (when they go out or are among men). That is better in order that they may be known (to be Muslims) and not be annoyed...
    [24:30-31] Say to the believing man that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that will make for greater purity for them; and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; and that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands...

    On this misconception, there is a great deal more to write, most of it showing how current practices in many Muslim lands go against what the Qur'an and Sunnah have ordained, lands in which women are treated as property (unIslamic), are not educated (unIslamic), are forbidden their economic rights (unIslamic), and more. On this point in particular, we encourage everyone to consult the Qur'an and Sunnah before incriminating Islam. Always remember that Islam is a complete way of life from the Creator, and that Muslims are people who claim to follow that way of life. A Muslim may claim to follow Islam, but be wrong.

    Link:

  • Does Islam Consider Women to be inferior to Men?
  • Wednesday, November 23, 2005

    STORY OF 3 PERSONS IN A CAVE

    STORY OF 3 PERSONS IN A CAVE
    Hadith from Sahih Bukhari


    Narrated Ibn 'Umar: Prophet Mohammad (SallAllaho Alaihi Wasallam) said,

    "While three persons were walking, rain began to fall and they had to enter a cave in a mountain. A big rock rolled over and blocked the mouth of the cave. They said to each other, 'Invoke Allah with the best deed you have performed (so Allah might remove the rock)'.

    One of them said, 'O Allah! My parents were old and I used to go out for grazing (my animals). On my return I would milk (the animals) and take the milk in a vessel to my parents to drink. After they had drunk from it, I would give it to my children, family and wife. One day I was delayed and on my return I found my parents sleeping, and I disliked to wake them up. The children were crying at my feet (because of hunger). That state of affairs continued till it was dawn. O Allah! If You regard that I did it for Your sake, then please remove this rock so that we may see the sky.' So, the rock was moved a bit.

    The second said, 'O Allah! You know that I was in love with a cousin of mine, like the deepest love a man may have for a woman, and she told me that I would not get my desire fulfilled unless I paid her one-hundred Dinars (gold pieces). So, I struggled for it till I gathered the desired amount, and when I sat in between her legs, she told me to be afraid of Allah, and asked me not to deflower her except rightfully (by marriage). So, I got up and left her. O Allah! If You regard that I did if for Your sake, kindly remove this rock.' So, two-thirds of the rock was removed.

    Then the third man said, 'O Allah! No doubt You know that once I employed a worker for one Faraq (three Sa's) of millet, and when I wanted to pay him, he refused to take it, so I sowed it and from its yield I bought cows and a shepherd. After a time that man came and demanded his money. I said to him: Go to those cows and the shepherd and take them for they are for you. He asked me whether I was joking with him. I told him that I was not joking with him, and all that belonged to him. O Allah! If You regard that I did it sincerely for Your sake, then please remove the rock.' So, the rock was removed completely from the mouth of the cave."

    Sahi Bukhari Shareef
    (Book #34 , Hadith #418)

    Monday, November 21, 2005

    A Poem by Julinar Diab : I Follow the One

    Note by Sr. Julinar Diab : This is dedicated to my sisters in Islam, first inspired by a sister and her story to Islam


    I Follow the One

    By Julinar Diab

    I'm alive inside
    nothin' can stop me
    Only God alone decides
    when and where to drop me

    I have a guideline
    Sharp sense of right and wrong
    So I know it ain't right
    Just to blindly tag along

    Praying to a man
    That just don't cut it
    Been lied to for so long
    Yeah I'm tired of it

    Will not be led by men
    And their sick minds
    I cover like the Mother Mary
    Holy for all time

    Don't say I dont know God
    You are way out of line
    Stuck in the gutter
    While Allah is the Sublime

    You don't own me
    Never will control me
    I go a different way
    And theres nothin' you can show me

    I follow the One
    Who holds the burning sun
    You will surrender
    Cause His Will is always done

    He created your life
    Now you like to deny
    Every single blessing
    Why not give ikhlas* a try?

    A step you have to take
    You have a soul at stake
    The truth from the falsehood
    Ya need to separate

    Since the time of Adam,
    The time of Abraham
    God has said He is One
    He makes it clear to man

    Submit to God's way
    You will never be astray
    This reality wont stay
    You'll soon meet face to face

    Polytheistic ways
    Then can't be erased
    Its a choice you have to make
    So your life wont be a waste

    I follow the One
    Who never had a son
    He is far beyond our minds
    And His Will is always done



    *The Chapter of Purity ( ikhlas ) Chapter 112, Holy Quran

    "Say! He is God, the One!
    The Eternally Besought of all!
    He does not beget, nor is He begotten.
    And there is nothing comparable to Him."


    Copyright © 2005 - Julinar Diab - All rights reserved.

    Sunday, November 20, 2005

    A deep heart touching story

    A deep heart touching story

    Author: Unknown


    It’s about muslim man named Rashid. He Says.
    “I was not a practicing muslim, I had bad friends. I enjoyed going out with them. I was almost never home, but always at gatherings with friends, in these gatherings we backbited, gossiped and made fun of ppl. I was especially known among my friends to make jokes and ppl were impressed by the way I was so good at it.

    One night (at the time I was 30 and married and my wife was pregnant with our 1st child) I was as usual gathered with my friends and talking useless talk. I was telling them how I was at the market one day and I saw a blind man and I put my leg out in front of this man and the blind man tripped and fell on his face. My friends laughed and so on.

    When I went back home that night, my wife told me ‘were have u been?’ ‘I am so tired and sick and I think I am in labor.’ A tear dropped down her cheek.

    I felt guilty, for I hadn’t cared about my wife properly.

    I quickly took her to the hospital.
    She was in pain for a long time and could not give birth, I waited patiently, but eventually I left and told the hospital to call me when she gave birth.
    An hour later, they called telling me my wife had given birth to baby boy named Salem.

    I quickly went to the hospital. I asked which room my wife was in. They told me I 1st had to see the doctor. I got mad at them and said “What doctor? I want to see my son!?!” they insisted that I see the doctor first.

    So I went to the doctor, she first talked to me about calamities and that one must accept the will (qadar) of Allah. Then she told me, ‘your son is blind!’
    My lowered my head and remembered the blind man I tripped and made fun of.

    I didn’t know what to say, I thanked the doctor for her kindness and went to see my wife. My wife was not sad, rather she accepted the will of Allah (Subhanahu wata'ala).
    She had always advised me not to make fun of ppl and not to gossip and backbite.

    We left the hospital. I did not care about Salem, I did not like him, I pretended that he wasn’t even in the house. But, my wife loved Salem very much and cared for him.

    Salem grew and he began to crawl, he wasn’t crawling properly. When he began to walk, we discovered that he was handicapped. This was too much for me

    Later, my wife gave birth to 2 boys, Omar and Khalid.

    Years passed, salem and his brothers grew. I continued to hang out with my bad friends and did not like to be at home. However, my wife was patient with me and she always made dua that Allah guide me.

    One Friday, I woke up at 11 am (which was early for me) and was getting ready to go to a walimah (I did not go to Jummah). I got dressed, put on 3tter, and was about to head out the door when I saw Salem (who was 10 yrs old) crying very loudly in the living room.

    So, for the first time in 10 years I cared and went to ask him why he was crying. When salem felt me coming near, he stopped crying and pushed me away as if to say, “Now you care, where were you for the past 10 yrs!”

    Salem was calling his mother and brothers, but no one was answering him, so he went to his room. I followed him. At first, he would not tell me why he was crying.

    Do you know why he was crying?
    His brother Omar, who normally took him to the masjid, was late. Salem was afraid that since it was a Friday, he would not be able to get a spot in the front row at the mosque.
    I said, “is that why you cried salem?” salem answered positively.
    I, out of disbelief from what I heard, forgot about my friends and the walimah. I then told salem that I would take him to the mosque.

    Salem could not believe what he had heard. He thought his father was mocking him. He then began to cry.

    I wiped salem’s tears and took him by his hand to take him to the car.

    Salem refused. He said the mosque is near, and he wants to walk there by foot.

    I could not remember the last time he went to the mosque. The mosque was full, but I was able to find a spot for salem in the first row.

    After prayer was over, salem asked me to get him copy of the Quran. I thought, ‘how can he want a Quran if he is blind!!!!’ so I gave him one anyway so that his feelings would not be hurt.

    Salem then asked me to open to surat al-kahf. So when I opened it for him, salem began to recite. He had memorized the entire surah.

    I felt embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I took a Quran and began to read. I asked Allah for forgiveness and guidance. I then began to sob like a child. There were still people in the mosque, so I tried to hide my tears.

    I couldn’t. I began to sob loudly.

    I felt a small hand wiping his tears away. It was salem. He hugged me and I thought, ‘you aren’t the blind one, for I am, because I ran after the evil people who would drag me into hell-fire.’

    From that day on I never missed a prayer at the mosque. My wife was really happy.

    I left all my bad friends and tasted the sweetness of eman. I went to halaqas. I became closer to Allah and to my family. I thanked Allah for this great blessing.

    One day my pious friends decided to go to a far away place to make dawah. I hesitated about going, I made istikharah and asked my wife, to my surprise she encouraged me to go. She was so happy, for before I used to travel w/o asking her.

    I told Salem that I would be traveling, he hugged me with his tiny arms, bidding me farewell.

    I was away for 3 months and I would call my family and I missed them greatly, especially Salem. Whenever, I called I would ask for him but he was either at school or the mosque. Everytime I told my wife how much I missed him, she would laugh cheerfully.

    Except for the last call, she did not laugh but her voice had changed. I told her to say salam to Salem and she said “Insha Allah” and was quiet.

    I finally came back home and hoped Salem would open the door for me, but Khaled did. Then I saw my wife, her face had changed.

    I asked her “what’s wrong?” she replied “nothing.”

    Then I remembered Salem, and asked “where is he?” My wife lowered her head and did not answer. A tear dropped down her cheek.

    I screamed at her, “where’s Salem, where is he?’”

    My son Khaled (4 yrs old), said “Daddy, Thalem went to Jannah, he is with Allah.”

    My wife could not handle it and she broke down in tears and left the room.

    I found out later that Salem had got sick with a fever and went to hospital 2 weeks before I arrived.

    The fever worsened and his mother stayed by his side and until his soul departed his body.”

    Saturday, November 19, 2005

    Just For Husbands!

    As Salaamu Alaikum,

    I got this mail last month and thought I will share it with you:

    Just For Husbands!

    (But Wives & Future Wives Should Take A Peek)
    By Sahar Kassaimah

    Have you cleaned the house? Is dinner ready? Have you fed the kids? Did you wash my clothes?

    These are some of the questions that women hear, day in and day out, from husbands who assert that wives are nothing more than servants and baby machines. But a wife is neither.

    Nevertheless, amidst busy schedules on the parts of both women and men, some husbands forget the real reasons behind marriage and likewise the rights of their wives. Subsequently, they deprive themselves, their mates and their children of the happiness and tranquility that is the bedrock of a successful family. This unbalanced vision towards a couple's ideal relationship is bad enough to plunge the family into a situation laden with troubles and worries.

    Even among religious families, you will find some husbands who still do not have a proper understanding of rights of their wives, nor a clear vision of the intended relationship between a married couple.

    It is both painful and distressing to see a Muslim husband practicing Allah's orders on the one hand, but forgetting to follow His guidance regarding how to treat his wife. Outside the home he is kind, patient and smiling. But, as soon as he returns home, the smiling face becomes angry and sad and the kindness and gentleness turn into nervousness and adversity. He starts shouting and screaming his orders at his wife.

    He forgets that although he faces many challenges and pressures outside the house, his wife can also be overwhelmed with the housework and her responsibilities to the children.

    He forgets that she also needs rest after a long day of working. Although his duty is to work outside the house and to provide for his family, a wife's role inside the house is not any less important. On the contrary, her role is often more important as she is the one charged with raising the children and guarding the family.

    We often see this scenario: A wife feels tired and asks her husband to help her with the cleaning, washing or cooking. He refuses, as though it is shameful for a man to help his wife. Doesn't he know that Prophet Mohammad (SAW), the most beloved person to Allah (SWT), helped his wives with the housework? Doesn't he know that Omar Ibn al-Khattab provided recipes to a group of women in order to teach them how to cook? Could Omar teach others if he himself did not know how to cook?

    No husband, regardless of how much work he has, can ever be busier than our Prophet (SAW) whose duty it was to spread Islam. Likewise, no one is busier than Omar who had to bear the responsibility of a Khalifah.

    It shocks me to hear that some wives have never heard a loving or appreciative word from their husbands. When asked about the person he loved the most, the Prophet (SAW) did not hesitate to name his wife, A'ishah. Thus, he declared very clearly, that a husband should not be ashamed of loving his wife or even of declaring that love in front of other people.

    It is also painful to hear that some husbands do not speak to their wives or spend time with their families, under the pretenses of a busy schedule and da'wa work. While it is noble to be involved in da'wa outside the home, it is also necessary that the wife and children also be recipients of a husband's efforts.

    I wonder how married couples can live without ever talking or spending time together or how they can feel happiness and tranquility with this gap separating them. Who else can share in happiness and sadness better than one's wife? Who else can encourage one to confront the challenges of life with perseverance and patience? Who can listen and keep one's secrets better than a wife? Who can help renew iman and intentions better than a wife?

    The Prophet (SAW) taught us that the best among men is the one who best treats his wife. Shouldn't we follow the Prophet's example in every issue of our lives?

    The Prophet (SAW) spent time with his wives, talking to them, laughing with them, and even playing with them. He listened to his wife, Om Salama's (RAA), advice in the Hudaybiya conciliation, when she advised him to start shaving and butchering. It was her mature advice that solved the predicament and protected the Muslim nation. So why have we strayed from that example?

    Raising children is not just the mother's job, as some mistakenly think. It is intended as a mutual responsibility to be shared by both parents. Everyone has his/her complimentary role to undertake regarding family. There is no doubt that the mother bears the bigger burden of responsibility, but the role of the father is likewise important and has tremendous effects on the stability of the family.

    Children need the presence and input of a father. They need him to ask them about their homework, help them memorize the Qur'an and understand religion. They need to feel that he is there for them.

    Dear husbands, your wife is your partner, your other half and your life mate. She can be your hassanah in this world and "the blessing of your life," but only if you give her the chance to be. She is the one who can bring a smile to your face and dry the tears of pain from your eyes. She has the potential to provide your family with iman, happiness, encouragement, and patience in the face of challenges you may face. Your wife is always ready to sacrifice everything in order to bring happiness and success to the family.

    No one can claim that marriage is always blissful or that there will never be any hardships to face. But, if the basis of the relationship is strong and if each person has a clear vision of his partners' rights, then challenges can easily be overcome.

    I do not mean to blame all husbands for the problems facing couples today. I am addressing a specific type of husband within the Muslim community: the misinformed one who does not understand that a happier and stronger Muslim family can only be built under a strong partnership between the couple.


    Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Qur'an, " And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (30:21)

    Monday, November 14, 2005

    First Islamic studies class after Ramadan vacation

    As Salaamu Alaikum,

    I had not been an active blogger for quite sometime. I decided to start blogging again.

    Today when I woke up I was feeling gloomy and sick. The air, which swathed the place seemed to be stingy and did not allow me to breathe. My eyes became puffy and my nose became stuffy and I sneezed and I sneezed till I sprained my neck. I solicited assistance from one of the house keepers to change my son’s clothes and send him to school. After my son kissed me goodbye, I thought I will plop on bed again and continue with my slumber for a while. But immediately remembered I had Islamic studies class to attend at my son’s school. I pushed myself to crawl back out of bed, hastily arranged my hijab over my hair and rushed to my forgotten class.


    When I arrived at the school I was welcomed by the smiling faces of my classmates, whose cheerful greetings of "Assalamu Alaikum!" made the dreariness in which my day had started, simply vanish! Sadly, however, there were only three other sisters who made it to the class; I guess after a 15-day break for the last days of Ramadan and Eid celebration the rest of my classmates were experiencing a Black Monday! *smile*


    Sr. Nousheen, our Islamic studies teacher, said,“I think I won’t be able to take the class, as only three of you are present…”and decided to let us go. One of the student who is also a parent of the school requested Sr. Nousheen to go ahead with the next lessons . She said "...or else the sisters might take advantage of this and would go on a mass bunk (*lol*) thinking that there wont be class if they are absent." Sr. Nousheen agreed and went ahead with the lesson. We had an interactive session . Though the lesson of the day was “Usool Al-Hadeeth: The Origin of The Sanad” , we discussed about other issues of Islam as well.


    The discussion ended at 1:00 pm . I decided to wait for my son as the school dismisses his class at 1:30 pm. While waiting for my little boy , I got a chance to talk to some sisters who are in charge of the Islamic program conducted at school and I chattered with them till 1:30pm.. At 1:30 pm , I left with my naughty little boy who wanted my hug and kiss.